You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
