i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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