I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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