I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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