she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
