Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
