You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
