Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
