ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
