Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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