I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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