even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
