Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He kissed a someone with a penis
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
