What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
