he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
