Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Found your dick twin last night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
