We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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