Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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