Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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