Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
