I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
