The best revenge is premature balding
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
