i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
