i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
