apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
