i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
