I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I AM VODKA MAN
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I supernannyed him into submission
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
