What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
