If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
