where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
