How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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