a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I believe in your delicious
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
