Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize