He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
