Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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