i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
