Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
