I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
