I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
