ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
