She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
