Your dad touched me again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Still dying that you shit outside
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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