party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
