party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
