Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
