im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
