I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
