Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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