Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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