Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
