Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
