did you get engaged???
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
